The inner workings of how I want things to be

(and why they are not)

Thank you, @kazuend, for this wonderful image of all of us aiming for the sky.

I’m going to start by pointing out two things that are the foundations of what I will speak about here:

1. We all have an agenda. There are people that go through the work of knowing their self, and are less drawn to unconscious action by it, but it is always there: What is the intention behind your actions?

2. The process of realization of this agenda is one of the hardest endeavors a human being can undergo, because it implies to give up the world as you would like it to be, in order to accept it how it really is: How willing are you to accept that your truth is not the only one?

And now, as I wrote that, I’m able to better realize what does it mean to be free. It means getting rid of your identification with the consequence of your actions. Truly realizing that your agenda is out of your control.

The world is a messy place, and there are no means by which you can control what will happen in the future.

Yeah, sure. You can act towards something. Build up knowledge, patterns of action, ways of being, that can increase the probability that something according to what you want to happen happens. It helps in order to achieve some sort of peace of mind, but there is no means by which you can control what ends up happening.

And that is being free. Realizing that until the core of your being. Realizing that you are not your agenda. You are way more than that. You are the creative force behind every one of your actions, not the consequences of them. What happens after you perform an action is a matter of the world, and the place on which all the agendas of nature collide. That is where reality starts existing as a material place. The place on which all our agendas merge with each other and get transformed into whatever comes afterwards.

We all co-create it as our agendas get melted away by the ultimate agenda of them all: The one of life itself.

So, what would it mean for you to break free from your agenda?

• Realize the amount of beauty and good that lies in every atom that surrounds you.
• Being able to fully accept everyone that is present in your life for what they really are. Not what you expect them to be. What they are.
• Realizing that you are somewhere in the arc of your life, and nowhere else. It would mean to stop thinking about where you will be in the future, and start fully embracing the place where you are at now, so that you could pave your way into the future on which you would like to be with more clarity of intention and action (but not of impact…).
• Experience what true, unconditional love is. I think that most of us are not able to truly feel love, because we are always in the need of something else. It is never enough. And that leaves no space for embracing and being able to see the beauty that is present at every moment. Even within yourself. Mostly within yourself. If you are not able to love yourself (and from there, love others), you will be missing the point of what life is all about.
• To enjoy the last years of life of your parents, or friends, or everyone whose life is not eternal and will die in one moment or another. And you don’t know that, no one knows, so why don’t stop blaming them for the things that you are not, so that you can accept each of those persons for who they are? If you are able to better realize what your agenda is, you would have a better understanding of the subconscious patterns of thought and action that underlie the fact that you don’t accept them for who they are.
• To be able to live fully in the present, as there would be no lack in your thoughts about what could have happened before, and there would be no identification into what could happen next. I’m sure that this will have as a consequence a deeper understanding of how important it is to live with your consciousness anchored in the only moment that will ever truly exist… Now.

I know that each of us has an individual and unique spark that we bring into the world, and it is my mission in life to be able to bring more and more fire into mine, so that I can share that with yours, and we can start building the future on which we’ll live together.

I started writing this as an explanation of what happens when there is a difference between the intention behind an action, and the impact that that action had. I have realized in my own experience that the feeling that comes up for me the most after going through something like this is a deep frustration, and this writing is my quest for understanding where that frustration comes from.

It comes from the expectation. The deep expectation that I have for things to be different from what they are. From them being different from how I think they should be. That is the strongest pattern of action that I have within my being, and writing it here is my way of acknowledging it.

In the moment that I realize that the gap between intention and impact is the place in which the world makes its play, and that I don’t control that play at all, I will become free. From my agenda. From what I want things to be. And I will be able to dive deeply into what is, and fully enjoy the ride.

From now till then, it’s time to breathe…